A Part-Time Monogamous Love Arrangement

I come across a lot of online daters in my line of work and none of them has impressed me more thoroughly than Walter.

Walter is 75 years old if he’s a day – hair long past gray and into pure white, kids grown and a wife deceased for 8 years. He had a successful career in textiles and manufacturing and is now retired in a beautiful home in Carmel-By-The-Sea (quite a successful career indeed!)

He’s a grown up; he’s got a life. Despite his considerable wealth, he’s not looking for a trophy wife to finish out his days – he wants a companion, or rather, wanted a companion. You see, Walter found his now companion of nearly two years on Date.com.

And he used one of the great all-time one-liners in his profile to get exactly what he wanted out of his online dating experience.

After a paragraph or so describing his life, he crystallized what so many people in his position are looking for in six simple words:

“A part-time monogamous love arrangement.”

He was not looking to be whisked away on the tails of romance and circle the globe in a love bubble – that would not have worked for Walter’s life.

Walter was looking for someone to share some time with but not re-arrange his life for (there’s the part-time part). Walter was looking for someone who was also looking for something meaningful and safe (there’s the monogamous part). Walter was certainly looking for someone to love him (that would be the love part, obviously). And he was looking for someone who was mature enough to respect his boundaries and maintain their own life (that explains the brilliant choice of the word arrangement).

Walter ended up going out on 8 dates: 6 of them were pleasant enough but he knew within 10 minutes that there was just no spark, 1 of them was an absolute train wreck where his date actually fell asleep at the dinner table and then came Sharon.

And Sharon was looking for a part-time monogamous love arrangement herself. She has also been around for more than 70 years, has her own life and in fact, lives 3-5 days of the week at her own house in Salinas, about 15 miles from Walter’s.

They have no need for pretense and look at each other as the cherries on each other’s lives – that last little bit that made everything better.

What a wonderful phrase –

A part-time monogamous love arrangement.

2 Customer Reviews of “A Part-Time Monogamous Love Arrangement”

P. Lesnik wrote on April 20, 2009

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Excellent advice and easy to read. Loved this piece. I will follow it!

April wrote on April 24, 2009

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Great article, shows that online dating is for everyone as long as you know what it is you are looking for! Best of luck to Walter

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