Online dating is a wonderful tool, exposing you to a large number of people you would not have met otherwise and increasing your chances of finding your soulmate among the thousands of singles out there looking for their other half. But sadly there will always be unscrupulous people looking to make a quick buck out of others’hard work, and this is why you have to be careful before you lose your heart (and purse) to one of them.
These are some more signs to watch out for and actions you can take to ensure you are corresponding with a real person and not a sweetheart scammer.
Beware of the sob story: In a normal world, people on the dating scene try to showcase themselves in the best possible light to attract others. Think of it: would you really tell a first date about your uphill mortgage struggle or your very ill mother? Not unless you wanted to send them running. This works both ways, so if your new friend starts telling you sob stories within the first few emails (lost job, sick child, tough financial situation), they may be just trying to soften your heart for a scam.
Be realistic: If you are being enthusiastically approached by someone who is very clearly out of your league in age, looks or (alleged) wealth; try to keep your ego in check and look at things rationally. Yes, Hugh Hefner is “dating” some of the most beautiful women in the world, but you can bet they do not love him for his great personality. Remember that “like seeks like” – you are a fantastic real person, and you should be searching for the same, not for a dream-come-true centerfold that may turn out to be a nightmare-come-true instead.
Do your research: As sweetheart scams become more and more popular, online daters have joined ranks to share their stories and help prevent this from happening to others. There are many websites where people share their scam stories, including letters and pictures received (scammers tend to reuse the same emails over and over as long as they keep working). For example there is www.stop-scammers.com, with a searchable database of over 5500 scammers and golddiggers; and www.antiscam.org, which features pictures and sample emails from hundreds of proven scammers. www.romancescam.com is a very well organized forum that even features several tests so you can diagnose if you are dealing with a scammer.
Do not send money or reship packages: There is a foolproof way to tell you’re being scammed: if a person you have never met in real life asks you for money (for whatever reason), sends you a check or money order to cash for them or sends you goods for you to re-ship to them, you ARE being scammed. These are things that a normal person looking to date online would never do – a real person would ask their friends, family or even colleagues for such a favour, not a stranger met online that they are supposedly trying to woo. Do not fool yourself: if you are met with any of these requests just cut all contact and spare yourself financial and romantic grief.
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