Because We All Have That FriendMaybe it’s fear of the unknown, maybe it’s the shame. Maybe it’s the money. Whatever the reason, we’ve all got a friend who should be dating online and for whatever reason, are not. This is not to say that every single person should be out there online, nor that any individual who is simply not looking to get hooked up is in the wrong. But some people want to be with someone and are failing to use the single greatest people-meeting tool in the known world – online dating. And for those of us who have gone online and moved offline with people we met on the Match.coms of the world, it can be a maddening argument with our friends who want to meet someone, but will not go online to do it. You try to calm their fears about the craigslist killer with simple insights of “Well, Skype the guy before you meet him and if he’s got that serial killer vibe, don’t go.” You try to attack the money issue with “You can do it for three months for less than the cost of dinner and a movie.” You even ask them “What’s to be embarrassed about – I’ve done it!” So I say, do it for them. If you’ve got a friend whom you are sure wants to meet someone but is reticent to get online dating for whatever reason – I say, make a profile for them. You may have to take some lumps from a surprised friend and again, make sure this person really is ready and wanting to go out with people (i.e. don’t surprise your friend at their spouse’s funeral with a new chemistry.com profile) but if you do want to help, then go ahead and help. Here’s a good protocol to follow: Set up a basic account for them on a general site like Match.com (stay away from the Z-specific sites unless you know that they are only going to go for a Catholic or an Indian, etc, etc.) Don’t fill out any of the information in the profile save for the absolute bare minimum. Use a screen name that would not call attention to their actual identity. Set up a new Yahoo or other free email address which you will list in your friend’s new profile. Put the best picture of your friend that you’ve got up on that profile. Buy a 3 month deal, as those are usually a much better value than the one month but still not the long-term investment of a year deal – these are great birthday presents for certain friends. Then sit them down, show them how the site works and hand the reins over to them. They may kick and scream and tell you to delete the whole thing – of course, once you’ve paid, you can’t delete it. Tell them that the ball is in their court and they can choose to ignore the whole thing or give it a shot. Believe me, they’ll give it a shot. No matter what they may say, no matter how angry, ungrateful and downright bitter they may come across, they will check and they will meet people. Some people need an extra kick in the behind to get going, and some people just won’t get going at all. The beauty of creating an online account for someone is that once you get that ball rolling, no one ever wants it to stop. |
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