Coaching for online daters

If you have been treading the online dating waters for a while without getting any responses (or only getting the wrong ones) perhaps you should take a good look at how you are presenting yourself. Is your profile unique and appealing? Do your pictures show you in your best angles? How should you initiate contact to make sure you get some responses?

For those out there baffled by these questions, there is a service that can prove a life-saver (or at least a life changer!) It’s called Online Dating Profiler, and they specialize on optimizing your spiel and photographs to ensure you make the most of your online dating experience.

Online Dating Sites interviewed E. Foley, the Lead Writer and Coach of Online Dating Profiler. She told us about the site’s history and services, and even gave us some advice on how to write a better profile.

Online Dating Sites: How long have you been operating Online Dating Profiler? Do you have an estimate of how many people you have helped?

E. Foley: I’ve been writing dating profiles for a few years now, but started doing it officially through Geek’s Dream Girl (geeksdreamgirl.com) in February 2008. Before I got into the industry as a business owner, I was a client! I started with Love@AOL back in 1999 and used several dating services over the course of the next decade. I met my wonderful boyfriend through Match.com. We’ve been together just over a year now.

I really wish I had kept track of how many clients I’ve had. There have been tons of super quickie clients. E’s Big Three is our recession-friendly service:  for $5, we give clients three big things they can improve about their profile. In the middle are the Dating Profile Critique, Profile Editing, and The Works clients. Then, we have our long-term clients like for Digital WingGirl, where we work closely with the client for a month and help in every area of their online dating experience. I have also given out free profile makeovers through giveaways at Geek’s Dream Girl, as well as my new weekly giveaways on Twitter for Online Dating Profiler.

ODS: Does your service assist men only, or in a larger percentage? Why do you think this is?

EF: When I started Geek’s Dream Girl, I was marketing mainly to men. I realized that I really wanted to market to a larger audience and opened up Online Dating Profiler to rebrand myself. My clients still swing toward mostly male because I have quite a few of them who find me through Geek’s Dream Girl and my writings about Dungeons & Dragons.

ODS: Who should look for the services of Online Dating Profiler?

EF: Most importantly, we cater to those who can admit they are poor writers. Nothing will turn someone off a profile faster than poor writing. It is perfectly fine to outsource your profile writing to someone who can wield a pen like a sword and fight for your honor.

The other person that benefits from our service is the online dater who has been-there-done-that and feels frustrated and upset with the results they are getting. We’re really good at Dating Profile CPR and have breathed life into many a dead profile.

ODS: Do you have any stats to show how much a service such as yours increases a user’s chance of finding love?

EF: Can’t say there’s hard math behind it, but I’ve had many clients email me and say they’ve gotten more emails and more dates!

ODS: What are the most common mistakes online daters make on their profiles?

EF: The biggest mistake you can make in a dating profile is negativity. For some people, it’s obvious bashing of an ex or talking about what they don’t want in a partner. For others, it’s a subtle vibe that turns people away from their profile (maybe without even consciously knowing why). If you’re marketing yourself (which is essentially the purpose of a dating profile, if you think about it), then you want to stay 100% positive.

Most people also exude a lack of self-confidence in their profiles. They say things like: “I don’t know why I’m doing this…” and “I’m really not sure if this online dating thing works” and “If you happen to like the stuff I wrote in my profile, please email me.” UGH!! Don’t be wimpy and whiny. It’s not attractive for either gender.

The third mistake is having horrible pictures. Webcam pictures, self-portraits, cell phone pictures, shirtless guys, people in crowds holding red plastic cups of cheap beer. These are fine and good for your Facebook, but not for an online dating profile. Your profile needs at least 3 quality pictures – one close-up of your face, one that shows your body type, and a third that preferably shows you engaged in some sort of activity you enjoy. Beyond that, it’s up to you. Just keep your shirt on! The Works and Digital WingGirl services both offer photo critiques for up to 20 photos. We help our clients choose the ones that are the most flattering.

ODS: Would you like to share any success stories?

EF: One of our Digital WingGirl clients got a date in less than a week after having his profile written by one of our writers. He keeps insisting that we did some sort of voodoo since he’d never gotten results like that before. Stories like that are what make this business worthwhile. It’s all about showing people in their best light and helping them make that first step toward a great relationship.

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