Coping With Anxiety in Romance – Part 1Love is not all puppies and chocolate and mind-blowing sex – love can be very scary as well. From the anxiety of a first date to the pangs of a sex’s aftermath, there is no other ingredient like love in creating a fear soup. All too often, we endure these crucibles alone, holed up on our own pouring our emotions into loneliness and drugs and a never-ending soliloquy beginning with the words “I told you so.” And while no one knows how best to deal with you but you, here is a look at some strategies you can integrate into your life to deal with the anxiety that love and romance brings with them. We have broken down our guide into different sections attending to different situations. Of course, if you find something in the “Fear of a First Date” section that helps you with “Oh my God, We Just Had Sex” then use it. Again, this is about providing you with strategies that work for you – you are the one living your life and only you can know what works and what does not for you. Fear of The Start… Fear of The Start The very first trouble spot is often the first realization of attraction. Anxiety is related to an over-abundance of internal energy that leaves you feeling disoriented and panicked. Just seeing (Skype) someone that you are attracted creates a lot of energy, sexual, emotional – attraction creates energy. Another hallmark of We Anxious Few is the undying belief that we can hold it together alone. That no matter what comes our way, we are best dealing with it alone and internally. This motus operandi often truncates potential relationships before they ever even begin. Which brings us to the first piece of real advice: It can get better. However it is that you have been living your life and whatever it is that you feel in those sudden surges of confusion and desperation – they can get better. I promise you, it can get better. And the first real step in that process is in understanding/admitting that it can get better. This simple sentence will pay immediate dividends when you truly admit it to yourself. Why? Because it indirectly takes the pressure off of yourself and your many methods of dealing with your anxiety. It sets you on the path to freedom. Read Part 2 of Coping with Anxiety in Romance for the end of advice dealing with pre-romance anxiety and a look at dealing with it in the early stages of a relationship. |
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