Coping with Anxiety in Romance – Part 3In parts 1 and 2 of Coping with Anxiety in Romance we looked at how to use breathing to temper your rough patch and the importance of understanding the possibility of improvement. We left Part 2 in the mire before a first date – let’s get to getting on with it then. I am Weak and That is Strength Since the beginning of whatever it is that we are doing now, humans have been faced with this most crushing of paradoxes: why try in the face of fate? We’re all going down in the end, so what’s the point? This sends each of us in a different way: some decide that maximum carnal pleasure is the only sensible path, some turn to religion, professional success, a family but most of us just try not to think about it. In our hyperventilating pre-date horrors, we often become very aware of how insignificant we are and how little a point there is in the end. And how can all of these other people seem to function so seamlessly in the world why it is so excruciating for you just to go out on a date? Yes, a lot of people don’t go through what you go through and yes, that does make their life easier. But that is them and none of us know anything about exactly what is going on with anyone else. All you know is you and you know you feel awful. You know that the only way you’ve ever dealt with this in the past is to endure it and be alone and you know that this person is coming, whether you are ready or not (as a sidenote, deadlines and time frames often tickle anxiety, so in your quest to understand yourself, understand the role that external stimuli play in your feelings). Yes, your anxiety is a weakness. But in a moment of panic, admitting that is true strength. I know it may not feel like it, but the power you will gain from admitting your feelings about yourself to yourself as you are feeling them will help you step more fully into your shoes throughout your life. Because the ability to be you no matter what comes at you is the truest indication of strength that you will ever know. Now let’s talk about how to deal with sex. Read Part 4 of Coping with Anxiety in Romance for advice on coping with major emotions following major physical action. |
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