Dear ODSDear ODS is an ongoing series dedicated to answering the questions of online daters worldwide. Dear ODS, I am concerned that I am attracting the wrong sort of attention online. I’d like to meet someone but I’d like to form a real relationship rather than some casual fling. Help! Sincerely, Looking for Love Dear Looking for Love, It can be tough to get the sort of attention that you are looking for whether you are online, at a bar or in line at a grocery store. Ultimately, you have to find a way to deal with people’s ulterior motives without feeling deflated or put upon – after all, it is a compliment in a certain way. But there are some aspects of your online dating persona that you can sculpt to better serve your purposes. First off, what site are you on? Make sure you are on a site designed for daters to reach long term arrangements with each other like Chemistry.com, eHarmony.com, there are oodles to choose from just take a look at our directory. Because if you are on a site like Passion.com, then you may as well stop complaining because that sort of attention is the only kind you’re going to get there. Secondly, take a look at your profile and specifically, your photos and your greeting. Your greeting should be a statement about yourself, written in complete sentences rather than a stream of consciousness expression about what you want. Since you’re getting all sorts of cheap attention, you may also want to re-check your photos. Remember that those partying-with-friends pics can often be interpreted as immaturity and telling of a desire for more casual arrangements than you may really want. Dear ODS, I am an African-American woman living in New York City. I’m not focused on finding a Black partner so I’m staying away from sites like BlackSingles.com. Am I wrong? Thanks, All Alone in the Big Apple Dear All Alone in the Big Apple, For the most part, there is no such thing as right and wrong when it comes to online dating – this is much more of an experiment to see what works for your type of search. For some people, Date.com does it all, for other people, they find love on JDate.com, others end up dating online for a year only to fall in love with a childhood friend. However in this case, yes, you are wrong. Sites like BlackSingles.com do not just focus on bringing together Black singles, but also attract daters from other ethnicities who are interested in dating Black people. As long as you’ve got nothing against a potentially Black mate, then there is no reason not to expose yourself to the population of daters on whatever site. You may or may not find what you are looking for on BlackSingles.com, but it sure doesn’t hurt to try. To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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One Customer Review of “Dear ODS”
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Jason wrote on April 21, 2009
The Dear ODS idea is great! I’m sure the answers you provide will help a lot of people.
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