Dear ODS: Am I Too Old for Her?Dear ODS, I’ve been single for far too long and this super hot young lady is interested in me. We met on Chemistry.com and everything is looking good… except that she’s 19 and I’m 33. She’s really mature though – do I have a problem? Thanks Hefner’s got me Dear Hefner’s got me, So first and foremost, as long as everything is going good, then everything is going good. In the end, age is nothing but a number and plenty of August-May relationships last. Unfortunately, that number relates to the amount of life experience that your partner has. I have never met a 19 year old who knows what life really is, you just don’t know that at 19 years old. It isn’t that you know so much more at 33… but you’ve been around. A relationship can be an awfully stifling environment for self-exploration and at 19, your young lady probably has a lot of self-exploration to do. So it isn’t so much that 19-33 is a problem in and of itself… it’s that in 8 years, when she is 27 and has skipped being a young crazy twenty something because she was in love with you, she’s not going to be all that too happy at some level. And she can never get those years back. You need to figure this out for yourself but make sure you factor her long-term health into your plans or you’ll end up in a place you never saw coming. OK so I’m not crazy but I love the movie “The Princess Bride.” I’ve seen it more than 100 times so I like, love the movie. I finally showed it to my boyfriend (who had never seen it!) and he didn’t seem to love it. I may be crazy but I don’t know if I can love someone who doesn’t love “The Princess Bride.” Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Sincerely, Queen Buttercup Dear Queen Buttercup, Of all the crazy things in the world, love is one of the craziest. So first off, you never need to qualify the feelings you have towards someone else with “it may be crazy.” You may be crazy, you may not be – either way, you have to live your life. And no, you’re not crazy. Art, films, music, whatever – a shared experience is a great way to understand someone’s values. Long term, values really count. The important part is in communicating them further – maybe your boyfriend reacted to a stylistic thing in “The Princess Bride,” maybe he’s a heartless square. Use this as a springboard for a more meaningful meeting of the minds because at face value, it’s just a movie. Remember that he doesn’t have to agree with you on everything to To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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