Dear ODS: How do I tell him I’m not into him?Dear ODS, I maybe could stand to lose a few pounds but I don’t want to put that in my profile. I don’t want to lie but I don’t want to lose out on dates. What should I do? Sincerely, More to Love Dear More to Love You never ever have to answer any question in an online dating profile that you don’t want to. Simply select the “I’ll Tell You Later” option or whatever option it is that comes closest to it. You should have pictures of yourself up online anyways. As long as those photos depict how you actually look today rather than 6 years ago, then whatever. Lose a few pounds, athletic – those are silly questions with subjective answers designed for search engines really. Don’t answer and put a few pictures up – you’ll be fine. Dear ODS, I’m tired of dealing with this guy who I met online. We went out on a date and I felt nothing (and I didn’t let him feel anything either!) and I don’t want to hurt his feelings… but he won’t leave me alone now. What do I do? Thanks, Trying to Be Nice Dear Trying to Be Nice, You’ve got a few options in dealing with your unwanted suitor. First of all, make your desires absolutely positively one hundred percent crystal clear. I know that you don’t want to be mean or hurt any one’s feelings but you and this guy are not going to be friends, were not friends and have nothing to lose. You have to stop with the “Let’s just be friends” and start with the “Leave me alone’s.” You could try ignoring him, but then you run the risk of challenging him to get your attention. Believe me, the last thing you want is 3 dozen long stem roses showing up at your door. I know it’s no fun to be a buzzkill, but you have to put your foot down, because some people won’t stop until you make it entirely clear that you and he are not happening. Saying something like “It was very nice to meet you, but I don’t think the chemistry is there” is not rude at all, and it should convey your feelings clearly. Then, if he still won’t leave you alone, you can bring it up to your site’s admins. Normally, you could just block him yourself, but since you two have already gone out, I’m guessing he’s got extra information like your email or phone number. If you ask your site’s admins to back you up, believe me, they will. But 999 times out 1,000 things don’t have to get that far – be firm and end it at once. Not only will it be better for you, but you are actually helping this guy out in the long term as well. To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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