Dear ODS: I’m Not a Bad Guy, But…Dear ODS, I’m not a bad guy, but I move around a lot with my job and still like to enjoy the occasional company of a woman. I’m not looking for a relationship in the slightest but I’d like to have some body heat – is there any way to accomplish this online without lying? Thank you, Out and About Dear Out and About, Oh, did you come to the right place sir. Not only is there a way to get this done without lying, there are multiple ways to get this done without lying. One of the great misnomers of the dating universe is that women don’t enjoy sex as much as men do. What you want to do is list yourself on sites like Passion.com and AdultFriendFinder.com, and be open about your situation and what you are looking for. Even on non-outright sex sites, you’d be shocked what you can find if you are just honest and forthcoming (without being creepy.) You’ll find someone, I have no doubt. Dear ODS, What does ODS stand for? Sincerely, The Letter Police, Dear The Letter Police, ODS stands for Online Dating Sites, just like our URL. We omitted the .org part. Dear ODS.org or Dear ODSO, just not catchy. Dear ODS, This guy I’ve been with for almost 4 months and who I really like just totally disgusted and disrespected me. I found porn on his computer! I’ve already chewed him out. Should I break up with him, too? Love, Sally Dear Sally, Studies have shown that male sexuality is very connected to the visual portions of the brain while female sexuality is very related to sound and memory. Dudes dig porn – sorry. It’s got nothing to do with you and you should not feel disrespected by it as it, again, has nothing to do with you. Now, you can be grossed out by it all you want – but disgust and disrespect are two different things. The only case in which this would be a serious issue would be if he were indulging in child porn, which is illegal fro many good reasons. Question your attitude about it: are you two having a healthy sexual relationship? Do you agree on the basics? Is this a symptom for a larger issue, such as him wanting more than you are willing to give? It is natural that you are upset about his having porn, but in the greater scheme of things it is a really petty offense by itself. Talk it over with him and see what he has to say. Finally, what are you doing looking through his computer? Privacy, trust and boundaries are very important parts of a healthy relationship. To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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