Dear ODS: Is Sex on a First Date OK?Dear ODS, Is sex on a first date OK? Love you guys, Blooming in Bloomingdale’s Dear Blooming in Bloomingdale’s, Good question and an oft-asked one at that. Of course, there is no one answer which is the answer that most often frustrates people. But hey, that’s life – we go forward as best we can and whatever happens happens. Rather than ask, is sex on a first date OK, I think the real question is, can a lasting relationship emerge from a quickly physical connection? And the answer of course, is yes. Anything can happen. But in most cases, you just don’t know the person after only one date. And sex begins a sexual relationship which complicates things. You two may end up a love connection that just connected pelvises first – most of the time, this is not so. And then you end up thinking to yourself “I can’t believe I had sex with Dilbert!” Oh if I had a nickel for every time… Look, everything is OK. It’s all about what you want and the best way to get it. If you are looking for a longterm romantic partner, then I would tell you that getting sexually involved after only one date is too quick. If you are looking to bounce around, then go ahead and bounce around. Like Captain Planet says – the power is yours. Dear ODS, I’ve taken my lady out since we started 2 months ago. Dinner, dates – all on me. But I think it’s time for her to start taking up her fair share and she says that it’s not her responsibility because she’s the woman. So what do I do? Stinky the Third Dear Stinky the Third Ah, what to do when you’ve planted the wrong tree and now it’s growing incorrectly. First and foremost, you need to look at what is that you ultimately want and what you can abide in the meantime. If you are looking for a loving mother for your kids to teach certain values, make sure that this woman possesses those values. If you are looking for a trophy, then make sure she’s a good trophy. The real issue here is probably your self-worth. If you are someone who was willing to pay for stuff to get the woman but now aren’t so sure, then you have actually tried to buy love and attention. That does not work in the long haul, my well-named friend (seriously though, Stinky the Third is an awesome name!) You may have to cut this one off now and go back to the drawing boards. I know it seldom seems this way, but the dynamics we set up in the very beginning of a relationship with someone always continue. Make sure you set up the right dynamics. To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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