Dear ODS: My Boyfriend Has Gone Hippy!Dear ODS, My boyfriend has been infected by some dirty hippies. He used to be this normal, preppy, wonderful guy – now he tastes his own urine in the morning and tells my nephew asthma is an emotional disease! I love what he used to be… should I stick this patchouli phase out? Thank you, End of Canada Dear End of Canada, Part of any long term relationship is dealing with the gradual (or sometime, sudden) identity shifts that both parties in the relationship make. Changing priorities, injuries, style – if you stick it out long enough, the person you end up with won’t even seem to be the same person at times. But they are the same person, with all of the flaws, wonderful qualities and memories that were always there. And make no mistake, this new “patchouli” phase was always inside of him. Furthermore, this phase may be a permanent thing – even The Phantom of the Opera had to put on his black cape for the first time. In theory, you should stick with the values and virtues that you most want in your mate. Now the whole telling your nephew that asthma is an emotional affliction thing sounds like it could have been condescending and moderately mean – maybe just as you are discovering this freer side of your boyfriend, you are also discovering some unpleasant tendencies. And let’s be real – style counts. If you are not going to be happy with a raw foods boyfriend, then don’t be with him. Resist the urge to deliver a “Me or the hemp necklace” ultimatum and accept him as he is… or let him go. Dear ODS, Is eye contact important in getting a chick? Thanks bro, ConanCrazeeI’s Dear ConanCrazeeI’s, Yes, yes it is. Dear ODS, This boyfriend of mine is getting on more than my nerves…and shutting down any reciprocation on my part. I want on top! And he’s just a missionary man. How do I mount this issue? Sincerely, Truly Blue Dear Truly Blue, First off, points for the double entendres. Here’s how to mount the issue: Comfort zones are a big part of any relationship, both the sexual and non-sexual aspects. If your man is having problems allowing you to take a more dominant position in the relationship, then the real issue is probably his feelings concerning dominance. Either he’s an old-fashioned kind of guy and that’s just how he rolls… or he’s scared (and in all probability, it’s some combination of the two). Take care to comfort him and make him feel empowered – my guess is he’ll learn to enjoy those kind of role reversals as long he feels safe in his basic position of dominance. To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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