Dear ODS: My Girlfriend is Too Fat NowDear ODS, My girlfriend is getting fat. If she gets too fat I think I should be able to leave her and it isn’t my fault, right? Sincerely, Stan Rest091TT Dear Stan Rest091TT So much said in so few words – first of all, you can always leave for whatever reason you can dream up (provided that kids are not involved). For the umpteenth time, you are in the relationship because it works for your life. If it stops working for your life then not only can you get out, you should get out. Secondly, have you spoken with your girlfriend? Does she know that her weight and physical appearance means as much to the destiny of your relationship as it apparently does? Thirdly, be still my beating heart with your tender loving! You are not the slightest bit concerned with why your girlfriend, this person with whom you have decided to share your body and mind with is gaining weight enough that you notice it? Do you think something may be going inside of her… may be? You know what, maybe you should just get up and leave her now. That way she can be done with someone as childish and putrescent as you and on to something more positive in her life – that’s my advice. Dear ODS, How do you live with a man and keep your space? Thank you, Ploggle Dear Ploggle, This is a great question because it cuts to the quick of one of the central questions in any deep relationship: How do you establish boundaries of privacy in the relationship? The first word is ultimately the same word as the last in this situation, communication. You have to be actively working out what goes where and why with your partner, not constantly, but actively. This is to say that you should not be overly aggressive or naggy, but you should be assertive in describing what will and will not work for you. Make sure that you have space for all of your possessions and that they are in the order you’d like them to be in, that’s obviously a big one in claiming your own space. But the other thing to work on is much more emotional – make sure that you are both spending quality time alone each day and quality time in an activity unrelated to your man. The time you spend away will allow you space to breath and make the space you two share together appear to be much larger. To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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