Dear ODS: My Lover Needs Help With the LovingDear ODS, I’m not digging my lady’s in-bed game so much, if you get my drift. Don’t get me wrong, I love her but the sex, yeah, no. Whatcha say? Up and Down, In and Out Dear Up and Down, In and Out Problems in a couple’s sexual relationship are at once amongst the most common in the world and the most soluble. All too often, couples will quietly suffer slightly satisfying and mostly uncomfortable sex just because they are ashamed to breach the topic with their significant other. The first thing to say to that is if you can’t talk to your partner about sex, then forget about working out any number of significant emotional issues. Communication = your relationship. Now, on to doing something about this: remember that your lady friend is trying, so the last thing you want to do is come across as ungrateful or put-upon. Bring up the topic in a non-sex night, just as you two are going to sleep. Let her know in a kind way that there are some other things you’d like to try. At this point, you’ll also want to tell her how sexy she is and how hot these other things make you. Help her to understand that behaving in whatever way you want her to is not a matter of degrading her or asking her to change who she is. I know it may seem weird to you to be so keenly aware of the relationship between sexual behavior and identity… but you’re a guy. Guys just tend to be, well, guys about the whole thing. Be kind, be honest and be appreciative – the rest will fall into place. Dear ODS, Why isn’t online dating free like email or Google? Love you guys, The Inquiry Girl Dear The Inquiry Girl, There are two answers to your question, TIG: First, some online dating sites actually are free. We’ve got a few reviewed and listed for you up on our mighty database. Check out Bookofmatches.com and Plentyoffish for starters. That’s not to mention the fact that most sites, by and large, allow you to sign up for free. I know, I know, that almost never includes communication with other members, but it gets you up and online nonetheless. The second answer is, there are expenses. In order to run any website you are looking at the cost of site administrators and servers, not to mention web designers, lawyers, overhead for your main office, payroll and Lord knows you have to pay your writers if you’ve got them. Some of those costs can be offset by advertisements… but that can also bog down the website. The moral of the story is, life costs money. Sorry. To ask ODS a question of your own, simply address your question to Dear ODS at contact@onlinedatingsites.org. We cannot promise we will answer every single question, but we will do our best to cover as many as possible on the column. |
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