For us humans here on planet earth, there are no more powerful feelings than the ones we feel for our children. They are quite literally, a part of us cleaved from our loins that sprout up into their own persons. Especially mothers – no matter what is going on, where they are, once they’ve had a child, that will always be emotional priority number 1 for the rest of their lives.

Likewise, introducing a new male figure into the life of a child is a tremendously changing event. And it’s a scary event for a single mother. Imagine, here she is rearing a kid on her own and then there’s this guy, whom she probably likes, that seems willing to play a role in her child’s life. But that role cannot be impermanent. If she were to let you in and begin playing a role in Adrienne’s life, she would have to know that you are taking it as a lifelong gig. She’s obviously liked guys before… and they didn’t stick around.

And because you don’t have kids, my guess is that she is thinking that you don’t know what that means. The vast majority of people just can’t until they’ve had a kid of their own and understood the overwhelming responsibility that a child’s pure innocence calls for.

All that said, if you really do dig this lady, and really are willing to take on a lifelong responsibility, then find a way to communicate the following with her: that you understand how scary it could be to introduce a new man into Adrienne’s life, that you understand that you have no idea what it’s going to take to take on a stepfather like role and that above all else, you love her. And you are open to letting her show you how to occupy the male role in Adrienne’s life that she would be comfortable with you filling because you want to spend your time with her. Then take it from there.

Of course, there is another possible circumstance unfolding here, and this one you’re not going to like as much. The fact that she has not exposed her child to you, speaks to an unpleasant possibility – she may not be into you in the same way that you are into her. Or at the very least, she’s not open to the same relationship that you are craving.