Five Dos and Don’ts for Men on First Dates
So you got her to say yes.
By hook or by crook, you got her to agree to go out with you.
Now what? Here are five dos and don’ts for men embarking on a first date.
- DO: Present yourself in a favorable light. All too often I hear about men feeling the need to dress casually (like crap) to impress upon their date their desire not to impress them. Get over it, dress up. DON’T wear a tuxedo (unless it is called for) but in every single first date situation, it is in your favor to err on the side of glamour instead of goon.
- DO: Get excited. People respond better to people with energy than they do to the comatose. If you like your meal, express that in more than words but in attitude as well. DON’T be a crackhead about it, belting arias following pasta and such. But in any first date, you should inject a sense of excitement at least a few times.
- DO: Touch. Women are reading you from the second you show up to the second you leave. Make sure you make your romantic intentions clear with gentle nudges and physical connections during your conversation (if you in fact, have romantic intentions.) DON’T take the power of ultimate choice from her. That means more than “no rape,” it means that you don’t want to position your desire in such a way that the woman feels that they are either going to sleep with you or never see you again.
- DO: Talk. You absolutely 100% must talk on a first date. It is imperative. So don’t set yourself up in a place where you are not going to talk (like a movie.) Unless you two have heard each other out as people, then you will feel odd sitting next to each other in silence. DON’T be incessant. You don’t have to combat all silence all the time nor do you want to prattle (too much, a little prattling followed by a little self-effacement can be endearing.)
- DO: Want to get to know her. You can want to sleep with her all you want, but if you do not have an explicit desire to get to know who she is (whatever that means to you) then you are wasting your time dating her (if sex is all you want then go find some chick at a bar; there are girls who want one night stands too) DON’T interrogate her, but you absolutely must invest yourself in identifying with her or the majority of the time you two spend together, you’ll end up bored.
So there are five to get you going with turning that first date into the beginning of something worthwhile. Good luck and be honest… but if you can’t be honest, be kind.
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