Going Live: How to Move your Online Attraction Into the Real World
People lie.
Especially online – my oh my, do people lie. I’ve been on dates with silver-haired women who listed themselves as 35 on their profile. I know women who went out with “Athletic” men who at 5’10” and about 315 lbs were either sumo wrestlers or fibbers. We all know some story or another.
Look, everybody has flaws and everybody wants company (at least, everybody dating online wants company). It is both in human nature itself and compounded by the anonymity of the internet – people lie in their online dating profiles.
Here’s a system to follow in weeding through the many connections you make online and getting into real-world dates with people you want to be with:
- A Grain of Salt: Do not fall in love with a profile. Yes, someone may be a superfan of the same obscure Heavy Metal band that you are, that doesn’t mean it was destiny for you two Anvil! fans to meet. This person may have your favorite quote in their profile, again, not grounds for an engagement party. Online profiles are introductions – nothing more, nothing less. Take everything you see in online profiles with a grain of salt.
- Video Chat: If you are dating online then you absolutely must have a webcam. Just about every computer built in the last two years comes with one installed or you can go buy one for well under $100 at your local electronics store. After you’ve initiated contact through written exchanges online, get to a video chat. Most dating sites offer video chat, but even if yours doesn’t, go download Skype (absolutely free) and get talking face-to-face. If your budding buddy is not OK with Skype or a video conference, then you know something is up. Video chat is the single most important step you take between an online hello and a real world meeting.
- Swap Meets and Such: Then comes the actual date. It’s very important to make sure you keep overhead low and expectations lower on your first date. You can check out our guide to good first date places here, but the short and long of it is you want to find situations where you two can talk AND/OR do something. That way you’ll be able to feel each other out conversationally and dip out of the inevitable awkward moments through shared activity as well.
Millions upon millions of people are meeting online today – more than ever. But before you lose your head over someone, take a few simple steps towards verifying their identity. Nothing is more deflating than dating someone different than you met online.
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