Good Break-Up, Bad Break-Up – Part 1

Endings count.

In the movies and plays, a good ending can make up for a lackluster middle while a bad one can ruin a great 2 hours.

So too do break-ups matter in the world of relationships. All too often quality time spent between two people becomes washed away in a slurry of lame-duck and half-true finale actions.

Here are some pointers in breaking up the right way:

Face to Face

  • Do break up in person
  • Do NOT break up via phone, email, text, Skype, carrier pigeon, some smoke signal or any other non face-to-face manner

The very first rule of breaking up with anyone is to do it in person. Do not ever ever ever break up with anyone via telephone or email or text message – not even a Skype video phone call. You must respect this other person no matter what they have done to warrant this split. And especially for those text-crazy heartbreakers out there, there is no real sense of closure when all that is exchanged is written communication at the end. Suck it up, take your lumps, and do it in person.

  • Deflection Bit of Wisdom: Obviously it is a scary enterprise to break up with someone. You don’t know how they are going to react, what is going to happen – it is a step into the unknown. While you absolutely must do it in person, you don’t necessarily have to do it in private. A good way to deflect some of the emotional shrapnel potentially headed your way is to have your break up meeting in a public place. I’m not saying to take your soon to be ex out to the Dodgers game to break it off, but a cup of coffee at a sleepy little café or a park may be the perfect buffer.
  • The Worst We’ve Seen: Undoubtedly the worst offense of break-up rule number 1 any of us here at Online Dating Sites has ever seen comes to us from the Great and Powerful Facebook. Not only did this person break up with the other online, they did it on their ex’s wall. An honest to God public break-up that read something like this:

Jane Doe, I don’t think we should be together any longer. You’re too into the computer and I knew this was the best way to find you. This is not a joke. We’re thru.

Humiliating, mean and easily misinterpreted (who breaks up with someone publicly on Facebook? OF COURSE it reads like a joke!) that would be the wrong way to break up.

Read Part 2 of Good Break-Up, Bad Break-Up for more on the right and wrong way to end it with someone.

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