How to Play Matchmaker - Part 1The only thing more fun than setting yourself up with a date, is setting up a loved one. Yes, playing matchmaker is one of the great joys of sustained friendship and family. Of course, the last thing that you want to do is send your friend down the blind date plank and lead them into a horrible night out. Not only will you have set them up on a bad date… you are going to owe them as well. Here is some advice on playing matchmaker: Don’t Do Anyone Any Favors The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Nowhere is that more apparent than in the mind of the over-zealous matchmaker. When you go into any situation looking to set someone up because “they really need it” you are officially imposing on them. This is not to say that you can’t be thinking about someone in the back of your mind, but you should not go into any situation looking to set someone else up. You can’t do it. Why not? Because the only way you end up in a truly healthy and fulfilling relationship is when you find the right person. When you are going willy-nilly after the closest thing you can see in order to put a halt to some bad feeling you recognize in someone, at best, you can only end up suppressing that feeling for short period of time. At worst, you just add another pile of crap for someone to deal with. So no doing anyone any favors – if you see someone that you feel your friend or family member could really connect with, then go for it. Otherwise, keep out of it. Don’t Embellish Another all-too common problem in matchmaking is the false description of the blind date. In fact, an all too common in just about any dating or interpersonal relationship is the false description of one or more parties. Dishonesty is a terrible long-term policy. People will find you out; people always find each other out. If you stick with someone long enough, you are going to find out all of the dirty secrets. And that’s not even the point – once you lie to someone, you know that you have lied. You are always going to be disconnected from that person because of your own shortsighted decision. Regardless, don’t call Kathy Bates Cindy Crawford – do you really want your friend to end up mad at you for setting them up? Read Part 2 of How to Play Matchmaker for more advice on putting people in your life together. |
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