In Part 1 of Long Distance Relationships we looked at why you shouldn’t cheat and how to keep yourself pleased. In Part 2, we’ll look at communication through the tragedy of differing time zones.
Reach Out and Touch Someone
Communication = your relationship. Long-term, long distance, long whatever, in the end, your relationship is all about the communication between the two of you. When you find yourself in a prolonged period of physical separation, the trick becomes finding the balance between staying connected and torturous longing.
First of all, there are no longer any excuses. Between telephones, emails, texts, Skype and good old snail mail, you have no excuses for an inability to communicate. So get all of the gadgets, particularly for we who date online – you really should have a webcam and a decent microphone for Skype.
As for which communicative tool to use, everything has a use so I favor the multi-pronged approach. I think of it like food – you can’t eat the same thing for every meal. So too is the best long distance communication a many splendored thing.
The Phone: You two are obviously going to be spending a lot of time on the phone together, so the first piece of advice, be aware of how your minutes work. Do you get nighttime minutes? Are there roaming charges? Be aware of all that stuff or you’ll wake up to a $200 bill. I would advise that you two find the time to chat for about 15-30 minutes on the phone every day. Not a ton, just enough to catch up, hear each other and touch base. The whole, sit on the phone and listen to each other breathe thing is unnecessary and cloying. Chat and be done with the phone.
Texts: Little texts throughout the day are a great way to keep the connection without weighing down your daily life. Little jokes, thoughts, feelings, quotes, whatever – texts are great because you don’t have to deal with them immediately as you do a phone call nor are they as involved as a long email. Use texts – a fantastic way to keep the lightness of a relationship intact.
Skype: Every few days to a week, you guys should be looking to Skype each other. Face to face time is important and as we all know, Skype is the best way to do it (at least, it’s the best way to do it from different parts of the earth). Get the webcam, a mic, a decent set of headphones and set a few dates. You two can even do dinner together via Skype. All too often people spend hours and hours on the phone. First of all, you don’t really need to do that everyday. Secondly, wouldn’t it be better to be doing that stuff face to face (and for free no less!) Of course it would, use Skype to set up your “long distance dates.”
Read the third part of Long Distance Relationships for advice on visiting your far away lover and how to get the most out of a long distance romance.
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