Just don’t ask to kiss them. Whether you are a man pining for a woman, a woman pining for a man or anything else, just don’t ask if you may kiss them.
Making the first major romantic move in any burgeoning relationship can be at once extremely exciting… and extraordinarily nerve-wracking. Here are a few Dos and Don’ts for making the first move on your date.
If You Have to Ask…You’ll Never Know: In the world of romance, there are fewer with more experience than rockstars. So let us begin our Dos and Don’ts with the immortal words of the Red Hot Chili Peppers: “If you have to ask… you’ll never know.” The seeds of romance do not begin in words – they just don’t. Romance lives in attending to the more animal side of our humanity. That part which senses things but does not necessarily put words on it (at least not in the beginning). So when it comes down to it, let the moment do its thing and go for it. Never ever ask for the first kiss.
Have Patience: The first kiss is like the first fruit on a tree. You have to let the other parts of the tree grow before you start looking for fruit. Have real conversations, talk about your lives, your interests – let the tension build before allowing it to blossom. If all you guys talk about is sex, sex, sex then your first kiss is going to be at best a precursor and at worst a pretense. The first kiss must have meaning in itself and that meaning must build up over the course of the time you two spend together.
But not too much Patience: On the other hand, the first kiss should not be coming on the fifth date. If you stick with this whole “a kiss is a fruit on a tree” idea – you are looking for a time when a kiss would be both natural and fantastic. If you two have had dinner and are out walking on the beach for example, that would be the time to join in a hug, reach your faces back (but keep your bodies together) and move in for a real kiss that you both are feeling. If you let too many chances for that first kiss go by, then your tree is never going to go beyond the bare branches of friendship. Which is not to say that a friendship is a bad thing… but we are talking about getting to some sweet fruit here, right?
Read Part 2 of Make the First Move for more Dos and Don’ts in getting to the romance of a new relationship the right way.
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