Make the First Move Part 2

In Part 1 of Make the First Move we looked at a few dos and don’ts in that fateful first move separating friendship and romance: “if you have to ask, you’ll never know” and “have patience but not too much patience.” In Part 2, we will continue our investigation with a few more bits of advice.

  • The First Move was the First Move: When you ask women about the first thing that they are looking for when their date makes the first romantic move, one word seems to crop up over and over again: consideration. Really, the first romantic move you make on a date is the very first move you make on a date. How you say hello? Do you take the time to open doors for them? Are you going out of your way to make sure this person knows that you are considering their feelings?
  • Respect Their Space: Another important part of making the first move is in avoiding lecherousness. While you don’t want to spend the entirety of the date in separate bubbles, you don’t want to spend your time together rubbing their legs and longingly looking into their eyes. Particularly if you are a guy getting ready to make the first move on a lady (and those gender roles do tend to comprise the majority of such situations) it is important to let her have her space.
  • Watch the Body: Of course the hardest part of making the first move is in knowing that your move will be reciprocated, or at the very least, appreciated. And since we’ve entirely outlawed asking about the old first kiss, the question becomes: how do you know that this person would be into a kiss?

Two answers:

First, body language. Picking up on the subconscious subtext that our bodies are constantly speaking is key in understanding whether or not this person would be open to a smooch. Watch which direction their hips are pointed in – are they towards you or the door? Eye contact is monstrously important. Do they seem to be at ease or are they all tensed up? Listen to what their body is telling you, and if it’s beckoning then go for it.

Second, communication. Picking up on the outright communication going on between you and your date is the single most important factor in determining the fate of your physical connection. Are you connecting with this person on a human level? Men, women – we all want to connect. In fact, that’s what this whole thing is about – connection! If you want to have a relationship with this person, then your physical relationship must sprout from your deeper connection, not the other way around. A kiss is the thing that takes your (already existing) connection to the next level.

Read Part 3 of How to Make the First Move for our final words of advice on that most troublesome of first kiss factors – your hands and what to do with them.

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