That’s What I Want Too!In the end, there will be only the truth. You two may be able to delude yourselves for a short while, a couple of years, maybe even longer… but in the end, the truth will be everything. This is why the first thing that I say to any potential online dater is to be honest. Beyond the whole virtuous thing, honesty is the word we give for someone acknowledging what is actual (or actual to the best of that person’s ability to perceive the actual). Pragmatically speaking, the only way to build a real relationship is to be honest with what is actual and work with it. So it is in this spirit that I say: If you smoke a cigarette every once in a while, mark down “on occasion” where it says “smoker?” If you’re an IRS agent, enter it in when whichever dating site you are on asks you “occupation?” If you are uncomfortable with answering any question, then just don’t answer it! You are always allowed to omit your response to a question (and if you ever find yourself not responding to a question, it may be worth it to ask yourself “Why am I avoiding this question” and doing some internal work on that). But online dating honesty extends beyond the particulars of your profile, it goes to the reason that you are online dating in the first place. If you are a single guy, recently divorced and not looking for anything long term or serious, say that, go after that, don’t change that story to accomplish short term goals. Likewise, if you are a young woman looking to be taken care of, let the world know. I know the truth can seem unattractive at times, but it’s the truth because no matter what our feelings on the matter are – the truth remains unchanged. If you want to get results then you have to go after what you want. Sometimes, that’s a matter of being open with what you really want If you allow yourself to be open with what you are actually looking for, then the answers to some practical questions facing all online daters become a lot clearer. For example, if you are looking for a potential companion of a specific race or religion, there is undoubtedly a site dedicated to bringing such singles together. If you are looking for an impersonal sexual relationship, there are sites for you. Don’t bend the truth, either expose yourself or totally hide yourself – just be open about it. The fruits of your labors will be simple yet profound – the reward is each and every time one of the millions of online daters worldwide scrolls across your profile and find themselves saying, “Hey, that’s what I want too!” Then send a message to you. |
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