The Great and Powerful Facebook Part 5
In Parts 1 through 4 of the Great and Powerful Facebook, we looked at everything from how to write messages correctly to the unimportance of relationship status to links. In Part 5, we’ll look at how to do the unthinkable – how to turn a Facebook friend into a real-life lover.
- They are Real People: The most important thing to keep in mind when on Facebook is that you are not operating within a vacuum. Even though you may be all alone, holed up in your room, what you post and write on Facebook will be seen by other very real, very interested people (well, maybe not very interested but at the very least, bored enough to read.) This is important to remember in every facet of Facebook from blogging to posting photos to messaging. Especially when contacting those Facebook friends you’ve made online but never met in real life, paying heed to their actual life can pay major dividends. Here’s how to do it:
- Start Friendly, Start Public
So you’ve clicked on a new friend’s page, checked out some pics and texts and found yourself a bit interested. The first thing you should do online is the same first thing you should do offline – establish common grounds and a consistent stream of communication. Look for a part of their homepage which you relate to: a favorite quote, a book even a good shared friend, find something which you two share. Then drop a friendly note on their wall saying as much at the same time complimenting them. The danger here is in going Facebook stalker style. Let’s look at two examples, one to the positive and one to the negative.
GOOD:
I love A Confederacy of Dunces! That’s my favorite book! You’ve got great taste!
BAD:
I was looking at your page and noticed that you listed A Confederacy of Dunces as your favorite book. It is also a favorite of mine…
Note that the first comment excitedly finds common ground and quickly moves into a simple, yet direct compliment. It seems as if the commenter was just surfing Facebook and came across something which made their day. Alternatively, the second commenter reads creepy. They take a whole long sentence just to say what the reader knows, that A Confederacy of Dunces is their favorite book. Then, the commenter ends a second irky sentence which doesn’t say much in an ellipse which we already know is a no-no (link.)
What makes the bad one bad is a sense of stilted emotion and subtextual pretense. How is this person going to respond to a statement like that? What does it leave to be said? What makes the good one good is a sense of authentic shared enjoyment and enthusiasm leading into a direct compliment. This can springboard into a back and forth with other good books or shared interests. Which leads us to part 6 of The Great and Powerful Facebook – how to get someone you only know through Facebook out and into a real-word relationship.
Read Part 6 of the Great and Powerful Facebook for advice on moving your budding Facebook friendship into a real world romance.
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