The Importance of Sex – Part 1It’s neither everything nor nothing, but it is a big thing. The sexual side of a relationship is a major part of the union between not only you and your lover, but you and yourself as well. Neglecting or over-focusing on your sexual life can result in negative images of yourself as well as big time damage in your relationship. Here are a few looks at sex and how to approach it from an internal and external standpoint. Talk Dirty to Me The first thing to talk about when it comes to sex is the first thing to talk about when it comes to any and all portions of your relationship – communication. It is a cliché for a reason, the fate of your relationship and your enjoyment of the relationship comes down to communication. This holds true for the financial end of your companionship, the emotional end and in our case, the sexual end as well. You must be able to articulate what you want and what you don’t want. If you are unable to specifically talk about the sexual things you do and don’t want then you can expect to become either A) bitter, B) unfulfilled or in all likelihood C) both. After all, your partner is living their life and are not psychic – it’s up to them to be kind and considerate but their ultimate responsibility is to themselves (just as yours is to yourself). Remember that a healthy relationship can only exist between two healthy people. So how do you breach the subject of sex? First of all, have a quick conversation with yourself. Not about “How am I going to get them to do this or stop doing that?” but about your relationship with sex. Take a moment to check in with yourself and how you feel about yourself as a sexual being. Do you feel like a tiger? Are you feeling a little inadequate? Are you feeling like you are just awakening to the possibilities of freer sex? Are you finding yourself scared? Where are you at with sex and yourself? Again, like in any communication, you have to know where you are coming from. So the very first step in breaching the sex topic with someone else is in breaching it with yourself. This is at once the hardest step and the most seldom performed. You count, take the time to honor that. Read Part 2 of The Importance of Sex for more on communicating with your significant other about sex. |
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