What Men Make of What you Write
When it comes to online dating, nothing is more important than your written introduction. It goes up on your profile page and sits like a spokeswoman selling the you product. As such, the you review is an oft-analyzed bit of your digital self – and you better make sure that you put the right you out there.
So here is what men make of what you write on your profile page:
Grammar and the Physical Form: The first thing that any one notices about a written thing is the physical form which that thing takes: the font it is written in, the length of sentences, exclamation marks and ALL CAPS phrases – the physical form of the statement. The way that what you wrote looks is in many instances, more important than what it is that you actually wrote. Here are 3 basic looks and what they say to men:
- all lower cases and run-ons and lingo: The first of our physical forms is the written equivalent of “word puke.” These introductions seldom adhere to any sort of grammatical sense and their sentences contain multiple points. “i luv to b with my homies and hanging around but also go out to bars for wild times even though i’m really a good girl just gone bad every now and then:P” This screams SEX to most men. SEX!!! The men who will take the time to respond to this sort of emotional unloading are seeing undoubtedly a naïve girl looking for… well… they probably don’t care what she is looking for (probably because she does not know what she is looking for.) If you present yourself as though you text messaged your intro, men are likely to see “booty call” written all over you.
- Perfect Grammar and Spacing: The second of our physical forms is for the woman looking to be queen. These are introductions that tend to be painstakingly worded and correctly spaced. Things like indentations, capital letters and semicolons pepper these introductions. They broadcast strength to men; they say that this is a woman with a strong sense of identity who is not here to play around. They say commitment as well as warn of a tendency towards coldness and punishment. A man attracted to such an introduction is likely looking for an opinionated woman who is unafraid to speak her mind.
- Something Creative: The third of the forms looks like a piece of art. These are the introductions that are either poetic, a joke or a huge red flag. A poem or line by line intro which looks like this:
Gobbledy guck gobbled guck
Gobbledy guck
gobbled
guck
For whatever reason, these types of intros are usually evaluated for their content rather than their form. So if you put out a fun sort of jokey poem, you’ll attract a man with that sort of sense of humor. If you put out a deep and polysyllabic dive through the emotions of companionship and identity, you’ll attract a Raskolnikov type. Most men appreciate short direct bursts of communication, so if your intro goes line by line then we are more likely to account for your specific content.
The creative approach is not necessarily the best approach. If you are trying to find a soulmate, then I’d recommend going that way. But if you’re not looking for a soulmate, then it’s probably not in your interest to put a poem out there. If you want to get laid, forget about grammar and blog! If you want to get paid, go Oxford on your profile! Online dating is about identifying what you want and going after it – figure out what you really want and the rest will fall into place.
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