What Not To Say in Your ProfileMeet olga2Russian, a beautiful, statuesque and successful blonde. The 34-year- old is both proud of her Russian heritage and assertive in the role that her religion must play in her and her potential companion’s lives. She has one of the best arrays of photos that I have ever seen on a dating profile; a series of pictures tastefully depicting her figure, her interests, her life experience and her daily life. Both she and her profile have a lot working for them. But she’s making two big mistakes in her profile. Number one, she has selected the ineffectual “I’ll Tell You Later” option for what she is looking for. First rule of online dating – know what it is that you want and be open with it. For the second issue, let’s look at a few excerpts from her profile introduction: “I am beautiful, extremely affectionate, passionate, smart, spiritual woman with a sexy Russian accent. I have been looking for you all my life… Working on myself to be worthy of you so you recognize me when we saw each other. You are… - age from 28 to 38, FIT & great looking - ambitious and successful in what you do… If you possess the above… please contact me … I have been looking for you for a while! We’ll be an amazing power combination that is intensely happy and successful in life. DISCLAIMER: - If my profile makes you SO UPSET that you have to IM or write me a message trying to make me feel worthless because I am OK to express what I am looking for, or calling me a gold digger or something else… please seek PSYCHIATRIC HELP as there is something seriously wrong with people like you. I supported my ex and all my family financially for years… (although not having to work would be nice) - if you are over 40… I will NOT be reading your messages. I delete them. I am sorry but I have been there, done that and not going to do it again. Try my mom though… she is cute =) - if you are feeling bad for me because you think my profile scares people like YOU, see #1 – there is something WRONG WITH YOU. I am fine, very busy and have lots of attention.” You should also note that I’ve taken more than half of the introduction out. First thing is first – this is way too long. This is supposed to be an introduction, not a binding contract. Secondly, if you want to project the image of successful and goal-driven (which is great if that is who you authentically are), then you have to make sure that the grammar is correct. Not three words into the profile, we are missing an “a” as in “I am A beautiful, extremely passionate…” Assertive, strong people are wonderful when they hold themselves to the same standard as they hold those around them to. Assertive, strong people become tiresome and unappealing when they do not – correct grammar is a must here. Thirdly, and most importantly, I would point you to the disclaimer section. While it may be true that someone contacting you just to let you know how much they disapprove of your profile may be in need of psychiatric help, you really don’t want to put that into your profile. Certainly not twice and certainly not with the “I am fine, very busy and have lots of attention” capper. As a whole, the disclaimer section reads like a laundry list of complaints the beautiful olga2Russian has with her previous experiences. From dating 40-year-olds (and come on, you would date someone who is 38 but not someone who is 41?) to THE EXPLOSION OF CAPS LOCK TEXT – your introduction is a place to be positive and optimistic about what is potentially coming your way rather than judgmental or defensive. You are a strong, vibrant and spiritual woman, olga2Russian, you don’t need that disclaimer section one bit. If jerks IM you, then let the site administration, know because jerks are dealt with by site admins and often, banned. My advice would be to first identify what it is that you want, then cut your profile introduction down to no more than 120 words. Let your wonderful photo section do the talking and you’ll have great success in finding what you want. Good luck! |
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