What to Do with Compliments – Part 1He is not the biggest, strongest man in the world and he knows it too. The art and joy of paying loved ones compliments should not be an exercise in exaggeration. Nor should it be about withheld half-sentences, the sort of “That’ll do, pig” of the romantic world. Here are some tips in giving compliments to your date or significant other: Be Honest The first lesson in paying perfect compliments is the first and last lesson in all relationships – be honest. Don’t look to compliment the beautiful bulging stomach of your lover as indicative of their undying athleticism. A compliment should occur when you are filled to the brim with something positive concerning your friend or lover, and it simply spills up and out of you. But the Gut is Pretty Too Let’s return to the physique compliment. It isn’t that you should never compliment imperfect parts of someone – it’s that you should never fabricate the rationale behind the compliment. So if you are going to compliment someone’s growing stomach, don’t say it reminds you of Brad Pitt or Eva Mendes. Instead, tell the truth – if you love putting your head on the flesh pillow then tell them that. Yes, it could be taken the wrong way, but so could every compliment (and for a lesson in how to take a compliment read Part 2). The important part is in identifying what is real and really describing what you like about it. I, I, I When paying a compliment to someone, the first word in the sentence should be I, not you. Why? Because all you can ever be honest about is what you are feeling and why. So when complimenting her beautiful nightgown, go with “I think you are so sexy and beautiful in that” rather than “you are so sexy and beautiful in that.” Seem absurd to you? Well when paying inactive compliments like that it is – which leads us to our final lesson. Activate It Static conditions are meaningless because they do not exist. You are not beautiful or ugly, you are whatever I see you as. We all know that ultimately. Instead of commenting on a static condition as in “I see you as the most beautiful woman in the world,” go with an activated comment “I have to kiss you you’re so beautiful.” The greatest proof of a compliment we ever receive is when we actually move this other person into action. So when giving someone a compliment, make sure it is honest, make sure it is about you, and make sure it is activated. You don’t have to be a giddy mess nor do you have to be an austere stoic – the style of your compliment is up to you (in fact, it is you). And no one gets it perfectly right every time… which leads us to the second part of What to Do with Compliments – receiving them. Read Part 2 of What to Do with Compliments for some simple tips in how to receive compliments. |
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