Even though in theory there are more women than men in the dating universe, the fact is that there are plenty of nice men out there who are not getting a lot out of online dating. We want to find out why that is.
In the first part of the article I told you the story of my cousin, a bona fide nice guy whose online dating profile did not get a single wink or response in a whole month. He is young, fit, attractive, has a great IT job and is very intelligent. Why were no ladies interested? Here are a few theories:
Unrealistic expectations: we have been over this before and we will be over it again and again, as long as people in the online dating world keep saving themselves for Ms. or Mr. Perfect they will miss out on a lot of potential Ms. or Mr. Rights. Maybe the ladies were not impressed by his height or his career was not dazzling enough, and so they let pass a really good man without even a shot at knowing him better.
This could also happen to many men who would only express an interest in really beautiful girls - thus slashing their chances, since attractive girls can afford to be a lot pickier. I know this was not the case with my cousin because I was the one who chose for him, and I aimed for girls who were attractive but no show-stoppers, girls who would look great by his side. So at least on this point I think we were on the safe side.
Is our generation too keen to be entertained? My cousin is a lovely man, but he is no Jerry Seinfeld. I wonder if these girls were disappointed by the fact that his profile spiel did not reduce them to giggles, and passed over him because his straightforward, honest intro seemed boring or lackluster.
I heard an expert today say that nowadays relationships are based on chemistry, shared interests and relationship beliefs in that order, when in fact a long-lasting relationship should be based first and foremost in the relationship styles and ideals of the partners. I suspect many ladies have missed out on a real keeper because they failed to feel the “spark” touted by most Hollywood productions. Instead of thinking: “is this a man I could be with for the long term?” they probably just wondered “do I feel swept off my feet?”
None of these considerations is going to do a lot of good for my dear cousin, who has temporarily lost his faith on online dating, but hopefully they will at least be an eye-opener to dating ladies out there. Not everything that shines is gold – and not all gold shines at first sight. Give the nice guys a chance! You will not be disappointed.
Write a Review